"When Do You Worship?"

The first time I ever heard of an 8 o’clock service was in the 4th grade, when I became an acolyte and was assigned to serve at that time. I didn’t know Christians even woke up that early! Little did I know at the time that I would not only attend those early services but also lead worship at them. The time and place of our worship can be deeply personal. Our work schedules, sleep patterns, and our preferences in the language of the liturgy can all be factors that inform when and how we worship. I’ve met parishioners who would never dream of attending a different service because it fundamentally changes their routine and spiritual practices. It’s why people get cranky when a parish changes its service times. We aren’t just changing when they worship; we are probably changing when they have their morning cup of coffee.

For clergy, the question “when do you worship?” is much more complicated. Because we lead worship in our faith communities, we stand with a foot in two worlds. We are part of our congregations. We pray with them. They also pray for us. But we have also been set aside (not above or below) from our congregations. We lead them in prayer, and we present their prayers to God. This means that we are never fully present in either world but rather in the space between them. 

I love to worship God. I love the privilege and gift of leading worship for others. But the work of worship, from preparation to presiding, is exhausting. I’ve often reminded faith communities that the hour or so that they see on a Sunday morning is the result of hours and hours of preparation and practice by members of the altar guild, facilities committee, lectors, eucharistic ministers, music directors, organists, members of the choir, office personnel, and clergy. Worship as we have chosen to conduct it does not just happen. It is not spontaneous. 

And then there is the service itself. Worship is meant to be immersive. It is meant to be that moment when we encounter God in a profound way so that we may be lost in the experience of God’s presence. The sights, sounds, and beauty of our worship spaces are meant to draw us into a literal sanctuary from the chaos and disorder of the outside world. However, for those who lead and worship, whether clergy or lay, worship can be an anxious experience. Is everyone who is supposed to serve here and ready? Is the altar set up correctly? Is the livestream working? I’ve noticed an error in the bulletin. Why is the volume of the organ sound so low? Why has the lector not moved yet when it is their turn to read? Because the expectations for the quality of our worship have been set so high, we often find ourselves anxious and afraid of making mistakes. I’ve seen acolytes, altar servers, and rectors break down because something did not go as planned. 

"Being fully present in my worship of God is nearly impossible if I am constantly anxious or distracted. My answer to the question of “when do you worship?” is two-fold."

Being fully present in my worship of God is nearly impossible if I am constantly anxious or distracted. My answer to the question of “when do you worship?” is two-fold. First, I strive to remember that, in the context of the liturgy, everything I say or do is a prayer to God. Just as my personal prayers can feel awkward and bumbly, so can my efforts to lead corporate worship. However, the premise remains the same: my time leading worship is spent in prayer. And I need to remember that if my prayer is sincere, if my desire is to draw closer to God, then God will be pleased. God is like a parent who knows that we don’t always get that birthday breakfast right, but that the effort is what pleases. There are several ways I can minimize my distractions and anxiety. It begins with strong preparation and planning. By the time Sunday rolls around, there should be little doubt, if any, of what we are doing and how we are doing it. This means that we are also training and equipping those who work alongside us in leading worship. Confident servants have sure hands and feet. 

The second part of this answer is that I must accept that I will not always be fed by leading worship. I also need to be fed. This means finding opportunities to attend worship in and outside of my faith community. Retreats at monasteries, convents, and retreat centers, led by clergy who specialize in helping others reconnect with their spiritual practice, can be life-giving and life-saving. Sitting back and allowing the liturgy to wash over me, trusting that others have things well in hand, can be an invaluable experience. When we can’t be on retreat, I enjoy allowing clergy to come and lead worship in my faith community. This was easier when I had the gift of an associate or a retired priest who could preside and preach while I sat with my family. I loved seeing the expressions on the faces of the congregants when they realized I would be sitting with them. It was a good reminder that even priests need to worship with their families from time to time. 

"Maintaining our sense of prayerful worship is one of the greatest challenges we will face as clergy and worship leaders. Prayer and worship are food for the soul."

Maintaining our sense of prayerful worship is one of the greatest challenges we will face as clergy and worship leaders. Prayer and worship are food for the soul. And while we can lead a community in worship even though we are hurting, tired, or distracted, it is better to have been fed ourselves first. How each of us accomplishes that will look different. But we must try. Standing in those two worlds can be more than exhausting; it can feel like we are being ripped in two. God did not call us to be leaders of the Church so that we would lose our faith. God called us to grow in faith so that we might magnify the faith of others.