"Rebuilding the Guardrails"

In approximately 283 days, my family and I will drop off my firstborn son at college. It will be a bittersweet moment as he embraces the freedom and independence that come with entering a new stage of life. Our hearts are bursting with joy. But at the same time, I am also deeply anxious. I’m anxious about all the unexpected dangers that might surround him. I’m anxious about the lessons he still has to learn, the same lessons that each of us had to learn when we began our journey to adulthood. But I trust him. I trust his judgment because I’ve seen him exercise good judgment. I’ve seen him be kind and loving to strangers, helpful to his friends and colleagues, and thoughtful with his words and actions. In essence, he has well-developed guardrails, boundaries that allow him to explore his world while simultaneously knowing what is right and what is wrong. 

I wish we could take credit for that, but it’s been a group effort. His teachers, coaches, family friends, and fellow Christians have all played a role in shaping him. Those guardrails will help him navigate a world that is becoming increasingly chaotic, violent, and hostile to the truth of the gospel that all people are made in God’s image and thus deserve respect and dignity. 

This post is not a direct response to the tragic news story that is captivating the 24-hour cycle. It isn’t about a video that’s trending or the incessant reaction culture that requires every person to share their feelings about every tragedy or heinous act. It is a response to the cumulative grief that I am feeling and a stark warning to every person in our nation that we have been living through a long process of the guardrails coming off. 

One online commentator gave an interesting response to the latest wave of political violence. They stated that this wasn’t new. This trend is merely a continuation of what human beings have been visiting upon one another since the beginning of time. The dates may change, the faces and political affiliations may change, but the story remains the same. While I concede their point, I can’t ignore what has changed: we are no longer a society of empathy. Who knows, maybe empathy was just a myth, but I seem to recall greater empathy over the death of our fellow human being. I recently used John Dunne's poem “For Whom the Bell Tolls” as a text for my sermon on the school shooting at Church of the Annunciation in Minneapolis. We have forgotten that any person’s death diminishes us all. Instead, we are paying close attention to the tribal affiliation of those who have been victimized and the perpetrators so that we may respond with righteous anger or conclude that they probably got what they deserve.

"We have forgotten that any person’s death diminishes us all. Instead, we are paying close attention to the tribal affiliation of those who have been victimized and the perpetrators so that we may respond with righteous anger or conclude that they probably got what they deserve."

I am not here to canonize or condemn the dead. That task is left to Jesus Christ, before whom each of us stands after our last breath. Part of not swimming alone means acknowledging the other swimmers in the water. I may not like them. They may not like me. I may wish that it were possible to silence their voice. They may wish to silence mine. But if one of us were drowning, I would pray that we would set aside all that divides us to usher one another to shore. 

Now more than ever, we need guardrails. We need to establish the healthy boundaries that allow us to live in community with one another. And if we cannot live in community, then I pray we can at least allow one another to live.  

Building guardrails as Christians begins with humbling ourselves in the presence of God and being mindful that we will be judged, evaluated, and seen by the same measure we judge, evaluate, and see others. It continues with rehumanizing those we have come to see only as caricatures. So much violence and hatred are only possible because we have convinced ourselves that somehow the ones we are fighting against somehow bleed differently than we do. 

"So much violence and hatred are only possible because we have convinced ourselves that somehow the ones we are fighting against somehow bleed differently than we do." 

Building the kingdom of God means turning to those in our families, our circle of friends, our faith communities, and wherever else we gather and holding one another accountable for what we say and do. Hold the mirror of Christ up to one another and ask if my words and actions rise to the level of his example. And if they don’t, then stop. The challenge with this prescription is that so many of us feel empowered in our own understanding of Scripture, theology, and morality. We must approach those with humility, also, and allow ourselves the grace to be wrong. 

I will begin with myself. I will begin with prayer and reflection on how I have dehumanized others and seen a view or a tribe instead of a person. And I will repent. My sincere prayer is that we can reclaim the guardrails that help us to catch ourselves before we make a grave mistake. The only other option is to run right off the road.