"No Time Like The Present"

Today, my oldest son and I are driving to Jacksonville to participate in a unique event. The University of North Florida hosts an admissions event where, after you have turned in all your application materials ahead of time, you tour the campus, participate in an interview, and receive a decision on the spot about whether or not you have been admitted. I must say that I’m not sure I would have had the courage to apply to college in person! 

Sitting in a car together for four and a half hours is an excellent opportunity to catch up on this kid who's been growing like a weed. It has been a challenging transition from the days of elementary and middle school, where it feels like your kids won’t make a move without your permission, to hearing about the adventures they have been having. It goes to show the kind of trust we have in our kids that they will make the best decisions, that we don’t worry when they come home and say, “Guess what!”. It is a natural yet painful progression to watch a child prepare to leave the nest. I’m gonna name it. I’m not ready. I’m not prepared for this young man, whom I can close my eyes and still see as a four-year-old, to start college. 

That’s why this trip is about more than being accepted to a college. It’s about practicing the power of being present. During our car ride, I made an effort to listen more than I spoke. I hung on every word in the stories he was telling about a piece of art he was working on or a book he was reading because I knew the time was gonna come when I wouldn’t hear that every day. The time is coming soon when I won’t see him at the dinner table every night, or more accurately, standing in front of the open refrigerator every 10 minutes. I’ll have to wait to hear how his day went, the people he met, and, if I’m lucky, the advice he needs. 

"The time is coming soon when I won’t see him at the dinner table every night, or more accurately, standing in front of the open refrigerator every 10 minutes. I’ll have to wait to hear how his day went, the people he met, and, if I’m lucky, the advice he needs." 

Looking back 20 or so years, I remember how hard it was for my parents to let me go off to college. As the baby of the family, it was extra hard, but I always remembered to call home. And I’m confident that because of the relationship that my parents built with me throughout my childhood and into young adulthood, I wanted to remain connected. My prayer is that we’ve done the same with our boys.  

An essential part of my vocation as a parent and then as a priest has been remembering to live in this moment. It’s tempting to be constantly distracted, to look ahead to what is coming next, or to reminisce or lament about the past. But this moment is sacred. It needs us and our attention. That is why I believe that, as Christians, we are called to live our lives prayerfully. This means that we are in the moment, focused on what God has presented to us, and mindful of where we are and what we have been called to do. 

I will do my best to enjoy every step of our journey this weekend, to follow where this young man is being called to walk, being mindful that this moment is sacred and will never be here again.